Self-identity

For awhile, I have been thinking about what makes me.... well, me. I'm not sure that I am any closer to answering this question, even though it has been at the forefront of my thoughts for some time now. Is there something that just screams "Amber"? What is it- clothing, Metro logo, German flag, Starbucks, pizza, Taco Bell hot sauce wrapper, usw.
Let's begin with clothing: People say that their clothes don't make them who they are. But honestly, if we all ran around naked, people wouldn't have a clue how to treat anyone, therefore everyone would be treated identically, correct? You wouldn't be able to tell who was a lawyer, who was a construction worker, who was a manager of 7-Eleven. That is, you wouldn't be able to tell until you looked a little closer; the lawyer probably will have a nice haircut, the construction worker will have rough hands and the manager of 7-Eleven might smell like nacho cheese or Slurpees (I don't know what 7-Eleven managers smell like and forgive me if I have gotten the scents wrong).
I'm getting off of the subject: identity but more important, self-identity. Self-identity is what you learn after your junior year in high school, where you realize who your true friends are and what you really are like.
Then you come to college or university or even enter the workforce, where you once again feel like the freshman that people are just going to shove into a locker any minute now. Any minute now....still waiting?
I had this feeling when I first began at Metro. Back at my high school (Go Warriors!!), I was Amber, the crazy-fun loving-involved girl that laughed loud enough to wake the dead. Everyone knew me or knew of me- not to sound conceited. But it took me 2+ years to get comfortable with my new surroundings, new classmates, new teachers, what was becoming the new me. It wasn't until towards the end of my junior year, that I really blossomed into 'Amber'- the funny girl at school, smart and great sense of humor, with a passion for dancing to *NSYNC songs in the school parking lot.
Senior year came and went, too fast. But during that year, I flourished. I took on different roles, challenged myself to new heights. In essence, I had a blast. May came, graduation came and after returning from my study abroad in Germany, I wasn't so sure about myself anymore. I came to Metro, still personifying the person I was in high school. But this wasn't high school anymore (Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore). Acting like I was wasn't going to work.
So I tried on more hats, took varied roles and became someone that did it all. Between practice and games, lectures and research, friends and colleagues, I was everything. This is where I lost myself.
Ha, I sound like a hypocrite. I've been preaching to anyone and everyone reading this blog since day 1 about the importance of being involved on campus, how much it will enrich your college experience, blah blah blah, yada yada yada. With so much going on, I wasn't able to take a step back and appreciate everything I had going on in my life: great friends, good co-workers, outstanding professors and an all-around fulfilling and satisfying experience.
I keep getting off track and for that, I apologize. As a Gemini, I love to communicate but I often wonder if I do too much for others to handle or to keep up with. My ending point on this subject is that (just like in high school), college allows you to discover yourself, to create your identity (inside and out) and to hopefully appreciate that particular identity. Be who you want to be, change yourself often (or don't) but just be happy and healthy. That's all that we should ask for anyway.